Meeting new people is
not really an art but a matter of developing a set of skills that enables you
to open conversations. Once you learn a
few techniques you will be able to use them in daily life as well as in seeking
employment.
Remember: Most people like to talk about themselves.
You need to use a line of questioning
that permits them to do so. Some
examples:
· Looks like a warm coat.
Where did you get that?
· If at a meeting or cafe/coffee shop - I am new here. What is the best coffee or best item on the
menu? OR How long has this cafe been here?
· Another one is to ask directions to a location in the area.
FINDING GREETINGS THAT MAKE YOU
COMFORTABLE
It is important to find greetings or
openers that you are comfortable with.
Following are some examples that most of us are familiar with:
· Weather topics - Well, you ordered some more snow. OR Are we going
to get more of the same tomorrow? OR, I
have only been here a few months, is the weather always like this? Is this typical for this time of year? OR If you are a skier this is your kind of
weather.
· Think: What openers have
you usually used that you are comfortable with when meeting others?
· Listen: What do you hear
others saying that you could be comfortable using?
BE CURIOUS: Think about whom this
person is and what would you like to know about them?
· Listen, and if they say something interesting ask them to
elaborate.
· Perhaps you have been a party to a conversation you hear while
waiting for a cup of coffee. You can
pick up on it by saying – “I heard you mention
______________ Sounds
interesting. Tell me more.” OR any question that gives them a chance to
elaborate.
USING CURRENT TOPICS AS OPENERS:
· The weather – “Hot enough or cold enough for you?” “Nice weather
just ruined my golf day. Do you
golf?” “Skiers should be happy
today. Do you ski?” OR “Well, you
ordered some more hot weather didn't you?”
· National or world events that are in the paper or on the
news. Be careful with these however as
you can alienate some people.
Below are a
few different lines that may spark a conversation:
I use some openers with individuals
that are different.
·
Most people say – “How are you doing
today?” The answer replied is usually
“fine”. If you have a humorous side you
might try a reply of “WELL, yes” OR “Mostly” OR “Somewhat”. This will usually bring a response of what
does that mean? Your reply – “My glass
is half full today.”
· “Sunny to partly sunny” is another response I sometimes use when
asked how are you today? I go on to
state – “My weatherman gives me that line all the time. My glass is half full today.”
OR “Cloudy to partly cloudy. My weather lady gives me that line all the
time.”
OR “Things couldn't be better unless I
was two and nobody is going to clone me.”
· Another one I sometimes use with a small group is “I don't
remember why I called this meeting do you?”
It is an ice breaker and you usually get a chuckle – but you have
connected with the group.
NOT EVERYONE IS COMFORTABLE WITH OFF
THE WALL OR VERY DIFFERENT STATEMENTS FROM THE NORMAL. Much depends on
your sense of humor and HOW YOU SAY IT.
INTRODUCE YOURSELF AND ASK FOR THE
INFOMRATION YOU WANT. Sometimes there is no better way to approach a person than
introduce yourself and solicit information.
WATCH CAREFULLY HOW OTHERS GREET PEOPLE
AND PERHAPS YOU WILL PICK UP SOME LINES THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH.
Bob Raikes, NCCC
Coordinator of Christian Career Circle